The Heavy Thinker/The Duality of Man (and Woman)

Upon receiving this assignment I was immediately able to come up with many answers to the question in my mind, which gave me the impression that this was not a very difficult assignment at all. But when it came down to actually posting my response I found out that I was terribly wrong.

I'd like to say that I am a heavy thinker, and I explore many different concepts in my own mind throughout the course of my day. I often surprise myself with some of the problems I resolve and the conclusions I come to just through thinking out things at some idle time on a random day. Most of my hard thinking gets done during my travel time, because I have the luxury if an iPod to supply me with various types of music and I also have plenty of thought provoking reading material. In addition to this, I am grateful to have the people of NYC to observe throughout my travels. I picked up some observing skills in high school and strengthened them with my readings of The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

I grew up a very quiet and obedient boy and as a teenager I was a person of rapidly changing thoughts and ideas. I feel that I am constantly growing everyday in the mental aspect and I am so glad to have so much of my life ahead of me. At the same time i feel like life will never be how I want it to be and there isn't much to look forward to at all. I have been very enduring till now and have tried hard to keep my composure throughout my years. In relations with other people I tend to behave according to the environment. Through all environments I am still "being myself" but through different dimensions and forms of expression. I feel that my advantages lie in my ability to see life through many different perspectives and my various experiences with different kids of people in various situations.

My experiences and the people who surround me are accountable for a large portion of who I am, but the bulk of me consists of self constructed concepts and conclusions. I love my friends more than anything else even though we tend to share different views at times. Many of my ideas and feelings about life, death, family, human relationships,etc I have no one to share with but myself. I am able to respect myself for being an individual of seemingly original thoughts but at the same time I feel upset about not being able to share some of the social values. I am pretty confident in myself at times and other times I feel like a good-for-nothing failure. I am grateful for my parents and the love and respect I receive from my friends and other people I meet, but at the same time I feel so lonely in this world. There lies the duality of my character.

I feel that reading literature has given me a head start on life, but I also owe a lot to my consumption of media in making me the person that I am. I have been very selective in the media that I consume but at the same time very open . My open mindedness in such matters has led me to discover many things that make my life enjoyable. I am a big fan of the movies pictures. I haven't been to a movie theatre in a while and I rarely go because I prefer older films over new releases. My favorite films are usually independent films, westerns, and comedy-dramas. I also love music of different genres, but the bulk of what I listen too is from the 1950's-1970's. I love rock 'n' roll, Motown soul, disco, country, folk, psychedelia and rap/hip-hop. Without music and my love for the art, none of this would have been possible.

favorite band- The Rolling Stones

favorite singer- Otis Redding

favorite rapper- Jay-Z

I love life and I have been pretty content as of late. I am in for a very busy season. This is my third yeah at Hunter and I have also been working in the women's department of a clothing store on 5th avenue for almost a year now. When I'm not at work or school I am usually playing basketball, reading or hanging with my friends. I get along with all kinds of people and I appreciate them for the content of their characters .I said earlier that i found this assignment to be difficult because I have trouble expressing myself through words and text. There are so many heavy thoughts and beautiful emotions that I just don't know how to dispense correctly so I have to keep them to myself.I definitely give my friends an earful but even then I have trouble giving them my all. And in some cases I dispense too much like I probably did in this post, but it's just something I will have to work on to become the human being I want to be. I don't follow any religion. I want to live in a world where everyone is seen and treated as an equal and I hope that we can all spread LOVE instead of fear.